Words have meaning. And if church members start articulating words consistently, those words begin to reflect the priorities and passions of the church.

I (Rainer) wrote a little book (I Will) on statements church members make that can move a church toward Great Commission and Great Commandment greatness. But there are some sentences that can prove harmful, even deadly, to a congregation. Here are seven of the most deadly statements:

1. “I like our church just the way it is.” When you begin to hear this statement expressed among church members, you can be certain there is no Great Commission heartbeat. We should never want our church to stay just like it is; we should be constantly seeking to reach new people with the gospel.
2. “My pastor doesn’t visit me enough.” There are so many things wrong with this statement. First, it reflects a ministry where there is expectation that the pastor is to do most of the ministry, instead of equipping others to do the work of ministry. Second, it reflects a dependence and self-centered ministry on the part of church members.
3. “I always vote ‘no’ just to keep the leadership in check.” This person is the disrupter I described in an earlier post. He or she really wants the focus on self. Attention seeking and self-focus are characteristics of this person. They are toxic to churches.
4. “I just can’t worship with our style of music.” The worship wars aren’t over. These church members could never be missionaries because their indigenous people group probably wouldn’t be singing hymns from the hymnals. There is no sense of worship with these church members; they are all about their own preferences and desires.
5. “People know where our church is if they want to come.” This statement reflects deadly ecclesiology and deadly missiology. It assumes that the church is a place; and it assumes that the Great Commission is, “Y’all come.”
6. “I love you pastor, but…” This statement reflects a church member who is both deceitful and deadly. He or she tells leaders they love them, but puts a metaphorical knife in their backs at the first opportunity. These members tear churches apart.
7. “I pay my tithes here, so I deserve…” This church member sees his or her offerings as conditional. So, in a real sense, they aren’t offerings as much as they are country club dues. They will continue to pay their way as long as they get their way.

To be clear, most church members do not make these statements nor do they reflect these attitudes.

But healthier church members should and must speak up when they hear other members making such destructive statements.

Otherwise, the naysayers, cartels, critics and bullies will have their way in the church. And the church will soon cease being the church.

This article originally appeared here.

Dear Brother and Sister in Christ,

I came across this article last Tuesday, saved it and read it Thursday and was like “yes!”.

Thom made some spot-on points in his article. Believe it or not, sadly, he is right on many accounts. My family and I have seen first hand both the healthy church and the unhealthy church throughout our ministry travels.

What breaks my heart most is seeing the church who has made the decision to not listen because they ‘think’ they know it all yet their church is dying or already dead. Their methods are not working yet they will not listen to the Word of God and ignore those who have God-given tools that could help them. Their hearts are hardened. Their ears are closed. Pride has taken center stage and Christ is tarnished.

Truthfully, it makes me sick.

Christ’s church is not ours to toy with nor is it a place to inflicted others with our own personal vendetta. Church is to be done God’s way. Period. Not our way. God’s church is not Burger King! It ought never to be.

This may not be your church scenario, for that you can praise God for but don’t get prideful. It slips in the back door and Satan uses it with all his might.

• Don’t go there church! GUARD God’s church and please only Him. Some things come by only fasting and prayer. Seek God first above all. Bring glory to God.
• Don’t go there believer! GUARD your heart! Don’t get in the way. Serve, adore the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, but say no to your pride and bitterness.

There is comfort in all this.

• GOD builds His church, not us.

God is bigger than our sinful souls, even believers. God will build His church, but God is not pleased with rebellion towards or in His church.

It’s God’s church, to be conducted, organized, fulfilled, given, taught, obeyed and lived out God’s way.

Following God’s blueprint for church is perfect because God is perfect. When we don’t, we distrust God’s plan. We then sit on the throne — we tell God that we know what is best.

Trust God. Trust His Word. God knows what He is doing.

Little side note —

1) YOUR PASTOR: He is a saved by grace human being. Not all pastors are created equal, but we are warned in Scripture how to treat our Pastor.

If you have had an unfortunate situation via church remember not all pastors or churches are the same, but before God we are all to be actively obeying God and His Word.

• Are you harboring bitterness?
• Do you need to forgive someone?
• Have you rejected God’s plan for His church and people?
• Have you ceased ‘assembling yourselves’ together?

If you have answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, get your grievances or offenses dealt with biblically. You never go wrong following God. When we don’t we find ourselves in sin and our relationship with God is hindered. God will hold us accountable whether we kept His Word and obeyed it or not.

Biblically confront those you need to and leave the results up to God. When you don’t, you are the one who losses in the end, not them.

If your pastor seeks God first over all else, obeys God above man, follows and fulfills God’s instructions — follow his leadership. God has given you a special gift in Him. He is rare. He is God’s Shepherd to you. When you follow his leadership you will be blessed as a church because God is at the helm, not a man.

2) EACH OTHER: Lift one another up to godliness. We are to be walking, living in Christlikeness…display it, give it, show it, fulfill God’s blueprint.

Let’s glorify God together — in and outside the four walls we call church and may others come to know Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior!

In Christ I am SHE {Saved. Hopeful. Empowered.}