the other mama

It was 09.08.16 the first time I read the article. Today I was flipping through some files via the laptop and came across the same article and once again read it. I found myself rereading and rethinking…

Today 12.08.16, gripped and challenged, and tweaked, I write once again. Bear with me as I ramble on.

As many of us parents do in the beginning of a new school year, we take dress our kids up, get our camera’s out and start clicking. I know that is what we do. Those ‘first day of school’ pictures of our children with cute chevron sign with each new grade on them. We proudly click. We proudly post. Why? because we love our children. We are thankful for our children and want to proclaim it. 

We stand there excited as we watch them grow physically but also mentally — and Lord willing spiritually as well. We think about this new year and what it holds for them (the knowns and unknowns). There is so much ahead for them and we are nervous yet excited for them (and we even shed a few tears) but they are happy tears for we rejoice. And all this is quiet frankly the way it is supposed to be…a joyous new season for all. 

This is where the article I read comes in.  

In all our rightful postings, rejoicings, pictures, and comments, I for one, have never really given much thought about the ‘other Mama’ that might be scrolling down through her Facebook, Twitter, etc., that first day of school and be filled with voids, sorrow, hurt, agony, or loss. I am just thinking about me and my family — and where this is ok to some extent, is other ways I should be mindful of others and what they may be going through. Let me explain.  

See it is not that we shouldn’t be posting our pics of our kids or posting our rejoicings….because we should. We should be giving God the glory for the things, the people, the blessings HE has given to us. For it is HE that has given them to us…for a season, but I have been reminded that there are others out there — there are “other Mama’s and Daddy’s” out there that ‘used to do’ the same things as I am doing right now with my children, but they are not because there ‘used to’ is not longer here. Death has separated them from there child so some reason or another. For them, it isn’t happening this year and will not happen next year or the year after. There pictures sessions, posts, blogs, etc., are memories while mine this year are a time of rejoicing. 

The first time I read this article was back in September and it hit my soul like a ton of rocks. Today it brings the same impact because it reminds me that while I love my family more than words could express, and I am incredibly thankful to the Lord for each one of them, I should never become so selfish and so self absorb to only think about “us”.

I cherish our precious memories and so should you! Our children are priceless and should be rejoiced in and loved. Our family times are valuable and needed and those God-given children we have are to be ever so loved and special, but I must not never allow myself to be so consumed with self and/or we, as a family become selfish. 

The article I read in a nutshell: I saw a picture of an empty front doorway.

Let me explain. On the first day of school, a Mother took a picture of her empty front doorway. It was the same front doorway she had taken for years but this year it looked much different. The difference was, it was empty. Her daughter wasn’t in this years ‘first day back to school’ picture because she had passed away from cancer. There was no new outfit to buy, no new backpack to pick, there was no special breakfast to fix that morning, there was need to pray together before leaving the house, no hugs, no kisses; instead there was an empty front doorway picture. Instead of waving to her daughter as she left on the school bus she got into her car and drove to the cemetery. She talked with her daughter, but there was no answer. She sobs. She prays. Her mind is flooded with memories as she remembers those other ‘first days’ of school pictures.

Gripping my soul, I am in tears! 

We all go through hard situations in our life. I get that. We all have been through incredible times in our lives. I get that. We need to remember our time of hard. Remember that in our weakness God made us strong. Remember that in those weakness, God used others, who were on the look-out for others (that happened to be you) and they ministered to your soul. “who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” II Cor. 1:4. We need to be rejoicings with those who rejoicing and weep with those who weep — even if we don’t have the words to speak. (Romans 12:15) Be on the look out. Folks all around us are hurting, rejoicing, sad, struggling, thankful…we need to think beyond ourselves — we need to think like Christ.

As believers we have the true hope — Jesus Christ! We know the power-comfort of God is beyond words – you know what I mean to those who have experienced it personally. But there is a reality that we are on this side of Heaven. The presence of loss is real. The grief that must be walked through is real. But our God is bigger, stronger, comforts and does bring healing to those who call upon Him! Remember there is someone out there that has a different story than you right now. Remember that other Mama.

“Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace, Comfort your hearts, and stablish you in every good word and work”  II Thess. 2:16 & 17

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