Very honesty, my mind floods with where to begin. I have longed to blog for the past several weeks yet haven’t had the ability to put thought into words due to the inward struggle of my heart. My soul is in distress, migraines are intense, the struggle is real but so is GOD!!
If my flesh were speaking, it would “spill the beans” to proclaim the wrongs done towards us and make them right! To herald the truth so the truth would be known. To correct those individuals thus putting them in their rightful place and make them see the errors of their ways.
Yes, this is pure flesh! To be honest, I have thought about it but spiritually it is what I cannot do (Romans 12:19).
For I know that wouldn’t be pleasing to my Lord nor would it be a testimony that I would long to represent for my Lord. Nor would it be profitable or helpful for those involved – for their spiritual growth is at stake. So, in the midst of my own distress, aching, and sorrow-filled heart I am choosing to stand in the shadow of my Almighty – to be redeemed one day, in His time, but for only one glory —-> HIS!
The past year has been no picnic in the park for my family and I, but I speak personally here. In my weak spirit, it trembles in fear, yet speaks in the midst of deep distress and intensely yearns with more passion than I can express to understand and grasp the knowledge with humbleness to grow before my Lord through this trial.
In God’s graciousness there have been blessings along this road for which I am truly and utterly thankful for. Believe me, I have been keenly aware of these blessings for I have looked HARD – very hard for them. They have been those “diamonds in the ruff” that have stood against the wiles of the devil, the wiles of man’s sinfulness, and even against my own sinful heart struggling from within. They have been God’s messages to me saying, “I love you” and “I know, I see” or “I understand, I am here” and “I know you don’t understand, but I am still in control…trust me” for these I rejoice over.
Another cherished blessing has been my precious family. In my weakness, they are compassion and strength. In my time of need, they are understanding and prayerful, wise and loving. I rise up and call them blessed!
We all have trials throughout our lifetime. We all have choices to make within those storms that are vital to our outcome.
I don’t know about you, but I for one want to learn the lesson the first time! No matter how hard the trial may be we must choose Christ over self (better or bitter). God’s plan doesn’t hinge on my feelings. God’s purposes are immovable because they rest on solid ground — because HE IS solid ground. For without God we are nothing. Without Him we cannot live. Regardless of mountaintop or valley, we are to be daily feasting on the Word.
I must say that choosing to believe the goodness of God in the land of the living (Psalm 27:13); to devour God’s Word every second whether or not my soul or mind can consume it all or not during these difficult times…has been my lifesaver!
I NEED GOD!
Everyday there is a choice we must make. There are actions and reactions that reveal our relationship with Christ and we cannot and should not let that go even when our hearts and minds are struggling to survive!
In His beauty and love for His own, God takes us through places that we don’t understand to prepare us for places He has prepared for us.
The Lord is so gracious to us. For my God is good on the mountaintop as well as in the valley. There is never not a place where He is not – where I am.