Sometimes you read something and instantly you know you gotta share it. When I read my friend Carol’s post on Facebook that is actually what happened. With her permission I share it with you now. Thank you Carol.
I was in my upper twenties, living in a southern state, hoping that this “single and satisfied” part of my life would soon be over. Things were looking very positive with my new boyfriend, Frank (not his real name). He was tall, nice looking, very smart, witty, funny, and a Christian. “A match made in heaven?” I wondered.
When my parents came to visit for several days I invited Frank over for a meal. While Mom and I were getting dinner on the table I kept one ear tuned to the conversation in the living room. I heard Dad ask a simple innocuous question followed by Frank’s sarcastic reply: “What a stupid question!” So much for making a good impression on my dad. That tainted the evening for sure and upset me greatly. A few days later I heard Frank go instantly from civil to ballistic while talking to his mom on the phone. That was my cue to exit the relationship with a heart of gratitude to God for allowing me to see Frank’s true colors.
Fast forward four years. I’m in my early 30s, still single, and now living on the east coast. A college-age girlfriend of mine was catching me up on her life. She had dropped out of college to work for a year back home in a western state. She began dating a guy from her church. She was excited when things got serious rather quickly, but then the verbal abuse started, followed by the physical abuse. She fled the relationship to go back to college. The more she told me, the more familiar it all sounded. You guessed it. She had been dating Frank! God had saved yet another girl from him.
I married my John after a storybook romance and my girlfriend married a godly man and has two fine sons. I don’t know what ever became of Frank.
Is there a lesson in this story?
Ladies, if you’re dating a guy who is unkind to his mother and other adults, RUN and don’t look back!!!
All to often the start of this story is far to common, but the end isn’t. Thank you Carol for this crucial reminder and for sharing your story with us! Your John and you are a precious testament of how God’s plan is the best plan; God’s way is the best way!
What I am about to say is easier said and much harder to be done (especially when one is in the midst of such a relationship), but we do well to understand the consequences are real nevertheless; it is better to be single than to marry the wrong person.
Whether abuse is verbal, mental, physical or emotional…it’s core is the very essence of opposite to who and what God is, therefore we will call it what it is SIN!
- To those ladies who are dating such an individual, say NO! RUN!
- Don’t accept the abuse.
- To soften his sin is to accept his sinful behavior/character. Once you accept his behavior you have told him it is ‘okay’.
- Maybe you have already told him it is okay…don’t think you cannot walk, run, or get away or end the relationship. You are free in Christ and not bond by his sinfulness…though he’d like you to think so. “You are bought with a price, let’s glorify God in our body and in our spirit — which are God’s (1 Corinthians 6:20)
- He is not walking in fellowship with God (even if he says he is), therefore, is unable to love, cherish and lead you like the princess you are. You are worth more…God says so!
- To those men who are dating such an individual, say NO! RUN!
- Don’t accept the abuse.
- To soften her sin is to accept her sinful behavior/character. Once you accept her behavior you have told her it is ‘okay’.
- Maybe you have already told her it is okay…don’t think you cannot walk, run, or get away or end the relationship. You are free in Christ and not bond by her sinfulness…though a controller wills you to think so. “You are bought with a price, let’s glorify God in our body and in our spirit — which are God’s (1 Corinthians 6:20)
- She is not walking in fellowship with God (even if she says she is), therefore, is unable to respect, love and follow you like the way you ought to be. You are worth more…God says so!
Jeremiah 29:11-14 tells us, “For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you,’ says the LORD, ‘plans for peace and well–being and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. (12) Then you will call to Me and you will come and pray to Me, and I will hear your voice and I will listen to you. (13) Then, with a deep longing, you will seek Me and require Me [as a vital necessity] and you will find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. (14) I will be found by you,’ says the LORD, ‘and I will restore your fortunes and I will free you and gather you…’
“You will keep in perfect and constant peace the one whose mind is steadfast [that is, committed and focused on You — in both inclination and character], because he trusts and takes refuge in You with hope and confident expectation. (4) Trust in the LORD forever [He is your fortress, your shield, your banner], for the LORD God is an everlasting Rock [the Rock of Ages]“ (Isaiah 26:3–4).
>>>The core of any abuse is from the pit of hell. It is sin. It is against the will and word of God, therefore, at enmity with God therefore we must not accept it or practice it. Abuse isn’t an option. <<<
We are to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves (Matthew 10:16). “No” is not a bad word. God wants the very best for you (Jeremiah 29:11-13).
Don’t underestimate the powerful love Christ has for YOU! What the Lord has intended for you is far greater, far deeper, far more beautiful that we could ever imagine or think (Jeremiah 33:3), but it comes with personal responsibility: 1) we must call (seek) Him 2) we must listen to Him 3) we must trust Him (His Word, His time, His plan) by choosing to walk in obedience knowing that God already settled your goodness because He is good. Settle on Christ, not second best!
In Christ I am SHE {Saved. Hopeful. Empowered.}
In Christ I am SHE 